Thursday, March 28, 2013

Dancing with tigers

Judging by the state of the The Cat I Don't Have the growing season is upon us, which is a tad premature given that the Daily Express is promising us another Ice Age and all the musk oxen you can eat at your local MacDonald's. At the moment it is 55% by volume fur, 10% garden debris, 5% exotic fauna and, optimistically, we'd like to think the rest is cat. I'm happy to take it on trust, I'm not going in there no matter how insistent the invitation.

Last weekend we were ripped from our slumbers by the most appalling caterwauling. The Small Object of Desire sat bolt upright, looked at her watch, realised it was not quite yet noon and said things Not Fit For A Sunday. I looked outside and saw that it was cat. She was sitting in the rosemary bush yelling like The Banshee Who Stood On Some Lego at Frankie Howerd, the cat from two doors down. They are not friends. We call him Frankie Howerd partly because he looks like the late Frankie's last Irish but mostly because he has the same vocalisations. It's quite unnerving to be lying there in the footstep hours of the night listening to something outside going: "Oooh... No. I'm down to my last titter." If he ever encounters the collared dove that sounds like Lesley Philips we'll be having Elstree on the doormat asking for royalties.


Scarlet Blue said...

Leslie Phillips is here in the guise of a wood pigeon. He gets very over excited whilst repeating the phrase Well Hello, over and over, faster and faster, louder and louder.
I shall send him your way as it's all getting rather embarrassing if I have guests.
Are you really going for the 365?

dinahmow said...

All you need is dear Kenneth to say "stop messing about!"

savannah said...

and i thought i had too much nature around here, sugar! LOL xoxoxox

Kevin Musgrove said...

Scarlet: Might be

dinahmow: There's a pair of wood pigeons in our local park that do that "oo…" noise from the "Loo bloo" advert.

Savvy: Always a good thing, so long as you've got the energy and you're not knocking crockery onto dinner guests.