I have been taken to task for not having banged on at copious length about Helminthdale's May Day celebrations. Well catkins and bells to the whole sorry mess if you ask me. There's only so many pigs-bladder hats anyone should have to put up with on the bus down the Penkridge Road and if Beltane consists of two drunken farts in the "Duck and Pullett" lurching over their table with cries of: "I'm fair motleyed out, I am!" then the sooner the Druids pack up and start taking up needlework the better.
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That is the 2nd time I have heard about Beltane today...how strange.
Wot? No virgins being molested at a maypole?
And the chaps down at the Duck and Pullett describe the ale as "a goodly brew", I'll wager.
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