While we're on the subject of women's legs...

An old friend actually does have a catwalk-model figure, which is a bit wasted in the local government section she works in but no doubt brings a cloud of delight to her clients. True to the stereotype, what she can eat at one sitting could incapacitate a regiment.

"When I was a girl my parents were very worried about it. In fact, they took me to see a specialist and I spent the best part of a year having check-ups."

"Really?"

"Yes, I had to go once a month so that he could check my legs and make sure that the muscle development was OK."

"Once a month? So that he could check up your legs?"

"Oh yes. He could never find anything wrong, though."

"How old were you when this was happening?"

"Seventeen, eighteen."

Some folk shouldn't be allowed out of the house on their own.