Sunday, October 21, 2012

The English Game

One of the natural advantages of being English is our reputation for dissimulation and hypocrisy, which means that most anything we say may have whichever interpretation we choose at any given moment. This in turn means that the merest thing can be turned into the most outrageous innuendo with barely an ounce of effort.

A demonstration: see what happens when you add the coda "that is not an innuendo" to any phrase. Such as...

"I've just put a load of washing in the tumble drier. That is not an innuendo."
"Downloads of The Bottom Line are available on-line. That is not an innuendo."
"There'll be a substantial bit of spotted dick in it for you. That is not an innuendo."
No wonder the well-oiled grannies of the shires are banging away on the cottage upright in celebration of the wonderful tongue of old England.

6 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

There's nothing like a bit of old English tongue on a frosty morning... or a bit of toad in the hole for tea.
Sx

Z said...

Yeah, we saw what you did there.

Gadjo Dilo said...

I think I must have been out of the country too long as the first two seem to offer me only a single meaning. But "well-oiled grannies of the shires banging away on the cottage upright".... now you've got me all excited again.

wendy house said...

Those grannies may heve to get a carpenter in to check their hardwoods if they're gang banging those uprights too enthusdiastically. Linseed oil might help

Pearl said...

I had a bit of old English tongue once.

Once.

Pearl

Pat said...

I cna tell my innuendos from my elbows.