Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Things to do number eight

I missed my train home because I was stranded for five minutes trying to cross a not-particularly busy road. The problem? Every time a gap appeared some muffin would cut me off as they turned in from one or other of two feeder roads. Each time was a near thing because surprise, surprise, not one of them used their indicators to say where they were going.

Especially not the pillock who turned his car left then suddenly reeled it into a right turn. I remember reading about Himmelman Turns in my old Biggles books but I never expected to see one done in a Volvo. Luckily the weather's a bit grim so there was no chance of his diving in on me out of the sun.

When my times comes my response will be quick and efficient. I shall use the brass handle of my malacca cane to smash their indicators as they pass by.

"Your indicator's not working mate!"

I shall cry. Actually, it would be a pretty nifty superpower to be able to zap the indicators and blow the car's whole electrics...


Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

I have similar fantasies. How I like these British expressions.... like "pillocks".

Ellis Nadler said...

Always carry a full size inflatable sex doll to hurl in the path of the vehicle. I find that drivers instinctively slam on the brakes, thus speeding up your journey time.

Kevin Musgrove said...

You are a man of enviable practical bent, Ellis.