We were in a restaurant the other day. Nice place, good food. The party next to use were a group of young blokes in their cups talking bollocks. One in particular was issuing forth with his banalities in an especially loud bray. I could see my companions tensing up. I wasn't much fussed myself: my inner recording angel was enjoying the cabaret.
"If I shaved my beard off I'd look just like my twin brother. It's uncanny!"
"Look, I'm all in favour of the European Union. All I'm saying is that we shouldn't have anything to do with it except as a controlling power to stop Brussels taking over the continent."
"How many of us have got a Gilette razor? I've got a Gilette razor. I bought it so that if I shaved my beard off I'd have a Gilette shave."
In the end my friend snapped:
"Excuse me. Please could you keep the volume down? It's not as if you're interesting."
They muttered apologies and settled down and we resumed our conversation. Being a very serious foodie, the lady had been annoyed by a recent promotion that had concentrated on the size of the pizza rather than the quality. As she told our now very quiet corner of the restaurant:
"Och, seven inches should be enough to satisfy anybody!"
That's wonderful!
ReplyDeleteI've always been torn between telling stupid loud people to shut up, and listening in - I always do the latter.
ReplyDeleteI can picture this scene perfectly
Ye gods that is bollocks isn't it.
ReplyDelete"Please could you keep the volume down? It's not as if you're interesting."
ReplyDeleteThat has to be one of the best put-downs I've ever heard.
Women's Institute bondage gear. hee-hee.
ReplyDeleteNext time I'm out I know what I'm going to order. And I'll do it loudly.
ReplyDeleteSx
WV: mates
ReplyDeleteIs word verification code evolving. It's just that I saw a documentary on BBC4 last night... and they got computers to evolve by themselves. Scary stuff.
Sx
fairyhedgehog: they can delight
ReplyDeleteLulu: I listen every time, much to my cost.
Gadjo: yup. There was more than an hour of it.
Marpol: some people can be a bit too honest!
Willow: you'd love it, trust me.
Scarlet; you're incorrigible!
how did i miss commenting, sugar? i must have been trying to work and read y'all at the same time...yikes, i wonder if i put the comment meant for you in an email.... xoxoxox
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