Wednesday, December 17, 2008

All buses go to Sorry

Another cancelled train, so I go sloping off for an half-hour wait for the next bus in the freezing rain. Sigh. It is an awful journey.

The bus is full to busting with late shoppers and kids coming back from 'Clifford The Big Red Dog on Ice' or whatever it was at the Hippodrome. One child's kicking the window petulantly. He looks over to another passenger and wails: "Mummy! That man's frowning at me!" Clip round the ear that's what the little bugger needs.

A couple of people old enough to know better are listening to music on their 'phones, sharing the tinny blather with an unwilling world. I had a transistor radio in 1974 that had a better tone. My brother keeps saying that I should get an ipod or some such. Perhaps I should. I could amp up the volume, as the teenyboppers say.

"There you are: Carroll Gibbons, you bastards!"

The clincher came a few stops before mine. A couple of ladies dressed as lamb lurched over to the driver.

"Hey! Is this the 159?"

"No, it's the 157."

"It said 159 when I got on."

"No, it's the 157."

I lost count of the number of times she went on telling us all that it said the 159 when she got on, hoping that constant repetition would change reality. One might have thought that she would have noticed half an hour earlier as the 157 takes an entirely different route to the 159. Eventually we are released as they take their leave of the bus and lurch over to the next bus stop.

Stepping off the bus, the cold wait at the bus stop finally takes its effect. A jolting spasm of cramp ran through my calf like a lightning bolt.

Another happy day.


scarlet-blue said...

I thought it was the 174...
Anyhow it sounds dreadful. What you need is a chauffeur. I will be happy to don an appropriate uniform and for a small fee I could fill this role.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Can you play the saxophone as you drive?

having my cake said...

Ah, the joys of Xmas combined with the vagaries of the transport system. Delightful! Roll on the New Year.

Miss Scarlet, dont answer that question for we both know that it is a criminal offence as evidenced by the Gillian Taylforth case!

scarlet-blue said...

Don't worry Ms Cakes, I am multi-talented and could fit it between my legs.

Ellis Nadler said...

sounds more like route 666